I genuinely had no idea what to call this post. It's just after 1am as I write from my hotel bedroom, and this time 12 hours ago, I was just getting ready to leave this room for Dianne's funeral......even those words together just look wrong.
What to say about yesterday...? A day full of family, full of love. Old neighbours reconnecting, surreal walks down memory lane....Familiar faces, voices, families..."I know you...did we..? We met at their wedding..."? A sky blue coffin carried by her husband, brother, father, uncle, friend....the devastation that washed through the room as she passed us all for the last time....the peace instilled by a buddhist chant, and a surreal comfort to be found in their belief that this life is like a hotel, some of us check and stay but a while, whilst others take much longer to check out....her Mother's voice, reading this beautiful piece with her lilting Welsh accent, and managing to get through it from start to finish without breaking down....followed by the heartbreaking strains of sobbing throughout the room as one by one, we all broke down.....heartbreakingly hilarious happy memories from her brother, smiley sisterlike memories from her friend and sincere big sister support from Bri's sis....music played a huge part, a beautiful Welsh lullaby on the violin from her sister-in-law, to an upbeat kids melody that she used to sing to the girls played her violinist niece. Mumford & Son's Sigh No More, with the killer line, "this is not the end.....love will not betray, dismay or enslave you, it will set you free...." Brian's eloquent reading of a poem Dianne had written and read aloud to him for the first time on their wedding day.....and then, the curtains closed to the strains of "The Voyage".....
I am emotionally exhausted, and yet so wide awake. The only thing I can take from today is that, as her brother Scott said, we need to keep the memories we have of Dai, of the good, happy, funny, mad times we had together and keep those memories alive. That way, although she is phyiscally gone, she's never fully gone....
What else to say? It was heartbreaking, hilarious, sincere, surreal,and poignant and perfect.....she is so missed, and always will be....
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